Part 5 - Questions People
Ask
“My husband’s
family are not Catholics but he would very much like his sister to be Godmother
to our baby son. Is this allowed?”
Godparents go back to the days when
most adult converts to the Christian faith had no Christian parents. Godparents
spoke up for the baptised person and, if necessary helped him or her to grow in
the faith. Today, in the vast majority of infant baptisms, these tasks belong
primarily to parents.
The church insists that at least
one Godparent is a Catholic. The Godparent’s primary role remains that of
supporting the parents in bringing up the child in the Christian faith. However,
most parents choose two. When this happens, providing one Godparent is a
Catholic, it is certainly acceptable for a non-Catholic to act as a witness to
the baptism. It remains important, however, that your sister-in-law is baptised
and of a sufficient age and maturity to appreciate her role.
“My wife goes to a different Christian church and would like her Minister to
take part in the baptism. Is this possible?”
Yes. Your wife’s minister may share
in the prayers and readings at your baby’s baptism. Discuss it with your priest;
he will be happy to explain what is customary.
“How much does
a baptism cost in the Catholic Church?”
Nothing. There is no charge for a
baptism or any other church service. It is customary, however, for an offering
to be made. But if you cannot afford any offering don’t be anxious. It is a
purely voluntary offering.
“How soon
should I have my baby baptised?”
The church encourages Catholic
families to have their children baptised as soon as possible after birth. This
is because of Christ’s teaching on the fundamental importance of baptism. If
there is any danger of death the baby must be baptised immediately and anyone
can baptise. You pour water over the head of the baby, at the same time saying
the words.” I baptise you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy
Spirit.”
The date of the baptism will depend
partly on the mother’s health for it is important that she is present; and
partly on the time needed for the preparation of the parents. This is why it is
a good idea to inform the priest before the birth that you want to have the
child baptised.
If you have experienced some
difficulties with the practice of your faith it may be helpful to allow a little
longer in order to clarify your own beliefs and rebuild a life of faith within
your family.
“My mother says I have to give my baby girl the name of a saint but I don’t
agree. Who is right?”
In the first few centuries of the
Church the custom grew up of changing one’s name at baptism to express some
Christian idea such as Irene (peace). In succeeding centuries the church advised
parents to call their children after a saint. You are not obliged, then, to
call your daughter after a saint (although there are plenty to choose from) but
the Church still encourages you to choose a name which reflects your own faith.
“I’m an unmarried mother. I want my baby baptised but I’m anxious about the kind
of reception I’ll get.”
You will be
given a friendly welcome by the priest who will be happy to arrange for the
baptism of your baby. So don’t worry at all. The priest will simply want to be
assured, as with any other parent, of your own commitment to your child’s
Catholic upbringing.
“My partner isn’t a Christian and feels self-conscious and anxious about the
ceremony and what we have to do as parents during the baptism. Will there be a
practice beforehand?”
Your partner’s
anxiety is perfectly understandable. Even people who attend church services
regularly can feel nervous and shy about taking a central part in an important
ceremony such as their child’s baptism. However, there is no need to be worried.
The priest leading the service will guide you through it step by step and
indicate exactly what part you play as parents. During the preparation for the
baptism don’t by shy about mentioning any point or action which worries either
of you. It is important that the day of your baby’s baptism doesn’t become an
ordeal but a family occasion to be enjoyed and celebrated by everyone present.
“My
baby was baptised at birth because of illness. Can he be re-baptised in church?”
Baptism is a
once-in-a-lifetime event. It means we become a member of God’s family; we become
a Christian. We cannot become what we already are.
The baptism
can’t be repeated but it is desirable that you have a celebration in church and
share in prayers and blessing which are part of the baptismal ceremony. You may
also wish to appoint Godparents at the same time. Such a service is a lovely
“thanksgiving” for the safety and well-being of your baby.
“I have been lapsed for a number of years and my seven year old daughter has
never been baptised. Could I have her baptised at the same time as our baby?”
Yes but you will
need to allow time for her preparation. She will need to be given more
instruction about baptism so that she understands what is happening. You may
well feel that you would also find some form of preparation helpful in order to
clarify any points about the faith that have given you difficulties.
People sometimes
wonder about how to approach a priest. After Sunday Mass is not always the best
time as there are usually crowds of people around. Try to book a time convenient
for both of you in order to meet in an atmosphere of calm and peace.
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We hope that you
have found this part of the pack helpful. However, if you have a question that
we have not addressed, please do make a note of it and bring it up when you meet
with the priest who will baptise your child.
Thank you for
your time.
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